Leadership often involves facing tough situations, and how leaders respond can make all the difference. While we tend to associate leadership with strength and authority, I believe embracing vulnerability and showing acceptance are equally important. These traits can build trust, connection, and authenticity—and I've seen it firsthand.

Recently, I experienced a few flight delays caused by bad weather—nothing anyone could control, but enough to test patience. In one instance, the pilot stepped out into the aisle, explained the situation to us directly, and even walked around to chat with passengers. He was upfront, authentic, and willing to face the frustrations head-on. His openness kept us calm and reassured, and eventually, he got us safely to our destination.

In another flight, the pilot barely communicated. Announcements were brief and hesitant, and the lack of information left everyone feeling uneasy. The cabin crew had to handle the brunt of the passengers' worries. It felt like the pilot wanted to avoid the situation entirely, which only amplified the uncertainty.

Same situation, but two very different approaches. The first pilot's willingness to be vulnerable and embrace the situation made all the difference, while the second seemed disengaged and distant.

These scenarios reflect instances of leadership in action.  When leaders embrace vulnerability, they're not showing weakness—they're building trust. Accepting the situation, being transparent, and engaging with those they lead creates connection and confidence, even in challenging times. Staying silent or detached, on the other hand, just increases anxiety and uncertainty for everyone involved.

I was incidentally engaged in Acceptance and Commitment Training (Steven Hayes) this week. ACT gives us helpful lens to view leadership behaviours and vulnerability. 

The ACT Framework in Leadership

Leaders often face moments of uncertainty or challenge, where their responses set the tone for how others react. The principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offer a practical framework for leaders to navigate these situations with authenticity and purpose.

· Acceptance In ACT, acceptance involves acknowledging and embracing the reality of a difficult situation rather than resisting or avoiding it. For leaders, this means recognizing and owning the challenges they face without judgment or pretense. Take the first pilot in the anecdote—he openly addressed the weather delays, engaging with passengers and admitting the limitations of the situation. This approach showcased a willingness to face reality and allowed him to connect with others through honesty. Acceptance doesn't eliminate the difficulty but creates space for constructive engagement.

· Cognitive Defusion Cognitive defusion is about creating distance from unhelpful thoughts, such as "I must appear perfect" or "If I show uncertainty, they'll lose confidence in me." Leaders often experience these internal pressures, but when they hold onto such thoughts too tightly, it can lead to avoidance or abruptness, as seen with the second pilot. ACT encourages leaders to notice these thoughts without letting them dictate their actions. Instead of being caught up in fears or doubts, leaders can focus on what truly matters: supporting and guiding their team with clarity and empathy.

· Values In ACT, values serve as an anchor, guiding leaders toward purposeful and meaningful actions. Values reflect what truly matters to a leader—whether it’s authenticity, connection, or trustworthiness. The first pilot’s actions aligned with values of transparency and care. By staying present, engaging directly with passengers, and demonstrating concern for their well-being, he modeled a value-driven approach. For leaders, being clear about their values ensures that their decisions resonate with both themselves and the people they lead.

· Committed Action Committed action is about taking purposeful steps aligned with one’s values, even in the face of challenges. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being intentional. The first pilot's decision to step into the aisle, explain the situation, and personally interact with passengers was a clear example of committed action. It demonstrated courage and effort to provide reassurance during a stressful moment. For leaders, committed action might look like initiating open conversations during a crisis or admitting uncertainties while focusing on solutions—actions that reflect their commitment to supporting those they lead.

In Summary: The ACT framework provides leaders with a roadmap to navigate challenges while staying authentic and grounded. By embracing acceptance, distancing from unhelpful thoughts, anchoring actions in values, and taking committed steps, leaders can foster trust, connection, and resilience. Vulnerability, when approached through this lens, becomes a strength—a way to lead not from perfection, but from purpose.

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers or appearing invincible. It’s about being human—embracing challenges, staying authentic, and creating space for connection. The ACT framework offers practical tools for leaders to navigate tough moments with integrity.

Ultimately, vulnerability and acceptance aren’t just “nice-to-haves” in leadership. They’re the very things that inspire trust, build resilience, and empower others to follow with confidence.

Questions for reflection

1. How do I currently approach uncertainty or challenges in my leadership role, and how could embracing vulnerability improve the way I connect with my team?

2. What are my core values as a leader, and how do my actions reflect these values during difficult situations?

3. Am I creating an environment where my team feels safe to express their vulnerabilities, and what steps can I take to foster more openness and trust?